What is the meaning you give to the idea of pursuing pleasure? Is there any chatter going on in your mind? Don’t let surprise at your reaction get the best of you.

I’m fascinated by the evolution of our level of comfort with pleasure over my lifetime as a woman. Many of us grew up in an era where the definition of pleasure for women was limited to sex.

I think about the conflict created between human nature and culture in those years before the cultural revolution in the 70s. Our brains have evolved over the eons to guide us to avoid pain, save energy and seek pleasure.

The marketing industry leveraged the discovery of these three human drivers long before the rest of the public. As mass marketing grew, food became one of the socially acceptable sources of pleasure. Even when you’re not hungry, the first few bites of a sugary donut give your brain a shot of dopamine.

Dopamine is a hormone in our brains. It’s often referred to as the feel good hormone. In a very primitive way, the messaging we received before the 70s was something like food is an ok source of pleasure, sex is not.

Ever since the 70s, there’s been an ongoing broadening of our acceptance of pleasure as an experience worth seeking. And there’s been a realization that there are a myriad of other ways to feel pleasure besides sex and food.

We now talk about self-care, which, to my way of thinking, is just the modern word for pleasure. We need an updated understanding of what can trigger a dopamine hit for our brains.

Using the word self-care to describe those activities which make us feel good beyond sex and food is important as we age.

Exploring the physical sensations such as touch, taste, sight, sound and smell can lead to finding activities that make us feel good. There are opportunities to explore emotional outlets like connection or love as well. Many experience pleasure from being joyful or contented.

The point is, pleasure in retirement is not like your mother’s pleasure in retirement. I’m not even sure self-care was a part of my mother’s everyday vernacular.

Why might this re-branding of pleasure be important to you today? Because feeling pleasure is one mechanism we have for feeling good, for triggering a hit of dopamine.

Feel good hormones help dissipate stress. Focusing on what makes us feel good distracts from thinking about circumstances we have no control over.

And lest you think you don’t have time to put yourself first, stop! Taking care of your need for pleasure is not selfish. I know it seems simple. I also know that doesn’t make it easy to do.

For some, you’ll have to invest in self-discovery. What is it that actually makes you feel good these days? Recognizing that we are all unique and worthy of finding our own pleasure means what everyone else does may not work for you.

For example, the knee jerk reaction is often a day at the spa. Well, the spa is not cost effective as a daily practice for me.

And I’m suggesting we experience a little pleasure, a minor hit of feel good hormones, every day.

First, ask yourself, what are the physical and mental activities that leave you feeling good?

Cultivate pleasure in everyday life.

Cultivating pleasure in our everyday lives begins with some basics. By basics, I mean getting enough sleep, eating healthy foods and moving our bodies regularly.

Remind yourself how good you feel when you’re eating foods that fuel your body rather than sugary quick fix options. Seek healthy food that is a pleasure to feel in your mouth. Savor it. The same with food that smells good to you.

And just as aside, if your favorite pleasure is a piece of great chocolate cake, remember it only takes a bite or two to create the sense of pleasure. It isn’t necessary to eat the entire piece.

Don’t let these little moments of pleasure go by unnoticed.

Did you used to love to dance? Many of us enjoyed just moving our bodies when we were young. You’re reminded of that when you see videos of children dancing for the pure joy of moving their bodies.

Even done alone in the privacy of your home, getting up and dancing for five minutes a day is likely to generate a pleasurable feeling in your body. If you’re unable to stand, dance in your chair.

You may find pleasure in intellectual pursuits such as learning new things, solving puzzles and writing.

On the road to living our best life for the rest of our life, setting an intention to either create or notice pleasure offers a myriad of benefits. Even though they are often brief moments, more of them will boost your immune system.

The feeling of pleasure that comes from accomplishing a new or difficult task will increase your motivation.

Challenge yourself to create or notice activities which bring you pleasure each day. Ideally, write them down as a reminder on the days when the opportunity to experience pleasure eludes you.