As a coach, I’ve served several women who have a lot to feel grateful for and yet still feel like they want more out of this next phase. Some of them come to me expressing a feeling of being set adrift—they have accomplished everything and are uncertain about their next steps. On the other side are those who feel stuck in routines, obligations and a life that no longer sparks joy for them.

Feeling aimless or trapped, there is a common desire to break free from invisible walls and rediscover direction, purpose, or adventure. If this resonates, know that you are not alone. Many women in this stage of life wrestle with these feelings.

The good news? You already hold the key to unlocking this next phase of your life. By cultivating a beginner’s mind, you can approach life with renewed curiosity, break through those mental barriers, and discover new possibilities—whether you’re feeling adrift or stuck.

What is a Beginner’s Mind?

The idea of a beginner’s mind, often referred to as “Shoshin,” stems from Zen philosophy. It means approaching life as if you were a novice, with curiosity, openness, and without the baggage of assumptions or judgments. Children are great examples of this—they see the world through fresh eyes, with wonder and a sense of endless possibility.

For us adults, especially at this stage of life, the beginner’s mind is a powerful tool to shake off the feeling of being stuck or aimlessly drifting. By adopting this mindset, you give yourself permission to explore new paths, embrace change, and see opportunities where you once saw limitations.

Why the Beginner’s Mind Matters

However you label what your discomfort, the feeling likely stems from a loss of connection with your inner desires. This can be because of years of societal expectations, caregiving, or simply the busyness of life. The beginner’s mind offers a way back to that place of curiosity and joy, helping you reimagine what’s possible.

How to Cultivate a Beginner’s Mind

Here’s how you can embrace this mindset, regardless of whether you feel adrift or stuck.

1. Approach Life with Curiosity:
When you feel adrift, curiosity can guide you toward new passions or experiences you haven’t yet explored. If you’re stuck, curiosity helps you see your current circumstances with fresh eyes. Ask yourself: What excites me? What have I always wanted to explore but never had the chance? The answer may surprise you.

2. Let Go of What You “Know:”
Are you clinging to old ways of thinking or beliefs that are no longer serving you? Beliefs about a woman’s role, retirement, and starting late can limit one’s mindset.

3. Be Comfortable Not Having All the Answers:
One of the biggest challenges in midlife is the pressure to have it all figured out. If you’re feeling adrift, you might be searching for clarity. If you’re feeling stuck, you may feel pressure to decide immediately or have a clear plan for moving forward. A beginner’s mind invites you to release the need for certainty and instead embrace the idea that the journey is part of the discovery.

The Obstacles to Embracing a Beginner’s Mind

Several challenges may come up when you attempt to adopt this mindset, especially if you’ve felt stuck or adrift for some time. Recognizing these obstacles is the first step to overcoming them.

1. Societal and Patriarchal Expectations:
Society often tells us we’ve reached our peak of usefulness—especially if they have primarily valued us for caregiving or our professional contributions. These patriarchal structures may push you toward the idea of slowing down, stepping aside, or “aging gracefully.” But these messages are outdated, limiting, and simply untrue.

Action Step: Surround yourself with stories of women who have defied these expectations. Read about those who’ve started businesses, become artists, or athletes well into their 60s, 70s, and beyond. Let their examples expand your view of what’s possible for you.

2. Fear of Stepping into the Unknown:
Both feelings of being adrift and being stuck can lead to fear of change. There’s comfort in the familiar, even if it’s no longer fulfilling. And stepping into a new chapter of life can be daunting when you don’t know what’s ahead.

Action Step: Take small, calculated risks. You don’t need to overhaul your entire life overnight. To slowly develop confidence in navigating the unknown, start by making incremental changes, like adopting a new hobby, changing your routine, or engaging in a conversation with a coach.

3. The Comfort Zone Trap:
Routine can create a sense of safety, but too much comfort can lead to stagnation. If you feel stuck, the very habits that once served you might now be the chains keeping you from evolving.

Action Step: Shake up your daily routine in small ways. It could be as simple as going for a walk in a different part of town, trying a new recipe, or even switching up your morning routine. Small changes can create momentum and open your mind to new possibilities.

Practical Steps to Reclaim Your Sense of Direction

1. Start a New Learning Journey:
Learning something new is a great way to break out of old patterns and rekindle your sense of curiosity. Whether it’s a new language, an art form, or a physical activity, learning can help you reconnect with your inner desires and passions.

2. Build a Support Network:
Isolation can exacerbate feelings of being stuck or adrift. Seek communities of women who are going through similar life transitions. You’ll find encouragement and inspiration in the shared experiences of others.

Final Thoughts: You’re Not Stuck—You’re Ready to Grow

Whether you feel stuck or adrift, the next phase of your life is not about limitations—it’s about possibilities. By cultivating a beginner’s mind, you open yourself to new experiences, challenge outdated beliefs, and discover untapped potential.

This isn’t the time to retreat into a smaller life. You have the chance to expand, to explore, and to embrace a future full of growth and adventure. You have the power to carve the path forward—no one has predetermined it. So why not approach it with curiosity, openness, and the spirit of a beginner?

The next chapter of your life is waiting. You’re ready for it—more than you may even realize.